This is so flipping weird. I still feel like I am going to be on my mission for the rest of my life. The past 18 months have definitely not "flown by" as they say, but they are going to end next week. NEXT WEEK. I have been saying for the past few months that I never wanted my mission to end. I think that was super silly of me. Everything is slowly coming into perspective for me. I had no idea what I was getting myself into two years ago when I decided to serve a mission. I had no idea what missionary work was. I never really had a lesson on it in church (if I did I wasn't paying attention). I literally had no clue what missionaries did. And I had no idea why Heavenly Father even suggested a mission in the first place.
Truth is, I still don't know everything. In fact, I would say I don't know most things. But I do have a greater perspective of who God is, what His plan is for all of us, and what that means for me.
At the beginning I was so focused on others. I thought the whole thing was to bring other people to Christ. Which, don't get me wrong, that's a huge part of my mission. I don't want to seem selfish when I say this, but my mission is about me. My success as a missionary will not be measured by the number of people I taught. My success as a missionary will be measured 20 years from now. If I am actively living the gospel of Jesus Christ and raising my family on gospel principles, then I will know that I served a successful mission.
I know that God loves each and every one of us. He wants us to return and live with him again. Our lives are about us earning our salvation. The way we do it may be through loosing our lives in the service of others and keeping our covenants, but I'm pretty sure at judgement day, my conversation with God won't be about the guy in my plans for three o'clock in the afternoon. It will be about me; the choices I made and if I kept my covenants. The past couple days I have been getting really excited to experience my life. I think it's been childish of me to be depressed about going home. Life is a journey and a part of it is change. I should be excited about experiencing new things and seeing what my Heavenly Father has in store for me. Change is good. I'm super nervous because everyone has been telling me that adjusting back to normal life is hard, but I know my Savior (and mom) will help me. I'm just excited for a new chapter and to apply everything I have learned from my mission. Basically, my mission has been the MTC for my life. I'm ready to live it!
This week I am just going to focus on making sure these sisters are ready to take over the area. We are going to find a new family to teach and I'm pretty excited! I told Heavenly Father that I just really want to enjoy this last week and see a ton of miracles! What I am going to miss most is how I feel when I talk with people. This week, we went on exchanges with the Spanish sisters again. While Sister West was teaching this woman in Spanish, I was teaching her husband in English. There was a lot he didn't understand about repentance. So I taught him super simply and just felt overwhelming love for him. I felt what his Heavenly Father wanted him to hear. I feel that all the time when I'm talking with people. I know it comes with the calling of being the Lord's missionary, but I hope it doesn't go away!
Anyway. Have a great week. We are going to knock 'em dead here in Millcreek! Love you all. Thank you so much for all the support you have given me on my mission. There is no way I could have done all of this alone.
Jesus Christ lives. I know that he is more than aware of everything we are going through. He has experienced all of it himself. I know that Thomas S. Monson is His prophet on the earth today. I know that His church has been restored to the earth. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints isn't just some other church. It is literally run by God himself. He wants us to come to him. I know that a lot of people that read my blog are not members of the church. I know they might have questions or wonder why I would leave my family, school, dating, etc. for 18 months to go to a place where I knew no one to just talk to people about the restored gospel. Please feel free to ask me! I love talking about the gospel and my mission. Ask me about my experiences. Ask me about my beliefs. I promise I won't push or pry or make you feel uncomfortable in any way. If my church was a cake, it would be the biggest most delicious, delectable, desirable, scrumptious, cake ever! I just want to share with everyone! It's fun to share the gospel! And if you don't like it, that's totally okay. I'll still be your friend and love you to death. But you have nothing to loose and everything to gain :)
Love your missionary,
P.s. Just because I'm loosing the badge doesn't mean my mission ends! The field is white and already to harvest in Tennessee and Logan Utah, too. Watch out world, because when I come home it's going to be missionary work unleashed!